Spotify has me in my feelings

I am currently listening to a playlist from the 2000 – RnB to be exact and it has me in my feelings like majorrr. I thought I would check up on my poor excuse of a blog and maybe update it a bit. So basically I decieded that it was in my best intrest to take the year off and apply to my masters next year. This would now remove it from my 2017 list technically, but technically it would still remain becuase im using this year to apply and hopefully be accepted in 2018! That would totally make my life, because it would validate alot of the hard work I have been doing lately. I also got basically straight A- and one B+ trust me that B+ was like basically an A to me because I worked sooo hard! God knows that class took everything in me. Although looking back these are the classes you never forget and the ones that teach you the most. In the moment I hate it but after I apperciate it. Regardless aside from this much else has not changed, I guess if you dont actively try to change, nothing much will really change. I’m still very single and in school and lastly my social life is not saying alot. But im working to change this during the summer, I am looking forward to alot more free time.

Update #2 – I did say one word to my sibling though so this is progress hopefully the next time I remember I have this I will have had a whole conversation. I just hope that the people around me also see the changes that need to occur in their lives in order for them to actually achieve the great things that I know they can. I just want everyone around me to win just like me.

Also I want to take this opportunity to congratulate myself on a hard year that paid off, and to encourage myself to never give up on me and to keep working hard. Half-ass work is not an option at all!

Honestly this post is so irrevlant but I wanted to document a couple jumbled thoughts and maybe add on to them later..

Also still hoping to receive a new car 🙂

Untill then

-I

Another New Years 2017-Resolution

HELLLLLOOOOO TO MY 2016 SELF!!

My blog should be renamed thoughts on the new year since I tend to only remember that I have a blog when the new year is rolling in.. I always go through my very weak selection of previous posts and am always amazed at how much I have grown since last posting. I am now 24 if you’re doing the math .. sadly still single I think this is a constant at this point, but also really happy with where I am at in life atm. I did go back to school this time for myself and I did get a bunch of A’s and am about to graduate again this summer. I’m proud that I didn’t limit myself to my past experiences with school and allowed myself a second chance. As I’ve said previously already, odd years are good to me so 2017 be good to me! Sometimes I do find myself reminiscing about the past and how much fun I had but I don’t worry about stuff like that too much anymore. I try and find fun in the situation I am in now and make the best out of every opportunity. I want to do so much this year I can’t wait!

This year I want to do something different I want to create a list of things I hope to accomplish in 2017.

1.PRAY

2.GRADUATE

3.TRAVEL

4.MASTERS

5.INTERNSHIP

6.FUN

7.MAYBE FIND A MAN

8.HAVE THE BEST YEAR YET, OR I LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS 2013-BEST YEAR TO DATE!

Hopefully I write more but if I don’t and I do happen to look back at this next year a day before new year’s, I hope you have accomplished everything on your list and that if no one has said it yet for me to be the first I AM PORUD OF YOU! Also I hope to selfishly have a new car by next year, if anyone wants to donate hit me in the direct messages! Anything after 2013 is welcome 🙂

That’s all for this year but if I remember anything else I still have a couple days before the new year!

Signed,

Your Girl now 24, but forever 22

 

I don’t know…blah

Today I am writing from a place of despair, i don’t even think I’m using the word properly but who really cares. Thats the word i want to use to describe my feeling atm. I don’t know what to say i am no longer 22 and I’m still in Toronto. It’s just that i don’t have the same feeling of fun i use to. Going out at all hours, not having enough time in the day to hang out with all your different friends. Although due to some on foreseen things i addressed last year i am no longer on speaking terms with a lot of the people i use to hang with. Yes i still have great friends but i don’t know people that would go clubbing on a whim anymore. I miss those loud crazy people you hang with just to let loose. I find myself sometimes thinking about making amends for purely selfish reasons. Although every time i stop myself because it’s not worth it. Is pride really that important though, am i the better person for not resolving the issue or am i losing. Sometimes i just feel like I’m losing when people are talking about them hanging out and partying running into people i use to know. The small voice in my head wants to know, did they ask about me? did anyone even notice I’m not around? I know what your thinking so go make new friends, go out and have fun whats stopping you. Its just that i can’t really connect with people i don’t really know and i don’t feel comfortable going out with people i don’t know. The ones i am comfortable with are over the scene and want to have classy nights. Maybe its pms and i know this feeling will pass but i just hate when i get like this.

And as a totally unrelated note I’m still single, yup still have not ever gone out on a date..lifes rough over here. BUUUUT i am not waiting for no man to validate me, its not like I’m ugly or anything. It’s just pride will be my downfall, i don’t really go out, i don’t like talking to people i don’t know and i would never give someone i don’t know personal information about me. So i think most people just think I’m struck up or that i have a man and even if i didn’t i wouldn’t give them the time of day. All my problems could be solved if i could just open up but its just too late. Im stuck in my ways and i hope that life will turn around a bit for the summer! I need to have reckless nights to talk about, to reminisce about and to look forward to. Otherwise school, work and home I’m going to crack soon..

I just needed that off my chest, but if anyones reading and they can relate drop a comment! Tell me about your experience or any advice I’m all ears.. even though i may come off as hard headed :))

Hopefully the next time i read this i will be looking back and laughing